Best Oregonian headline of the year?

I think so!

The movie review that went with it was pretty funny too.  I liked that the review was amusing, while still pointing out who would enjoy the film.

One letter's journey to the wrong side of the country.

This arrived at work.  It was sent from New Jersey.  

Josias Campusano-Polanco?  Doesn't work at my school.

105 Clark St?  105 is the street number of my building, but we're not located on Clark Street.

Roselle, NJ 07203-2504?  None of those come close to matching the city, state and zip. (the 7,  2, & 0 match in that digit order, but nothing else)

So this letter traveled from New Jersey to my work in Portland, Oregon just because our street address is 105.  Weird.  I was so amused I wrote the recipient a note on the back of the envelope before sending it on its way.

The wit that is contained in the 12 Bottle Bar

I purchased the 12 Bottle Bar book because I'm interested in building a home bar and doing it with only 12 bottles seems like a grand idea.  I had no idea the authors would be so amusing.  They also feature other amusing authors, such as Sam Greenspan, who tells us about "11 Drinks Not to Order for the Opposite Sex."  This paragraph in particular amused me.

Not quite what the headline writer was going for.

I picture Meriwether Lewis and William Clark, resplendent in their explorer's gear, sitting in front of a computer with worried expressions.  What's this box? It's so bright and shiny. It's a web? Webs are much sturdier now than they used to be.  Have spiders gotten strong? 

(But really it's a story about Lewis and Clark college and their difficulties with Yik Yak.)

Amusing thing in Parade Magazine

I'm not religious myself, but I do find the idea of a Duck Dynasty-themed Bible to be in very poor taste.

top songs that we should listen to (this took forever)

I love how so much information was squeezed on this tiny post-it note that a teacher had on her laptop, to remind her of the top songs that should be listened to.

I agree with Satchel

After finishing five 5k runs, I'm interested in running to food more than anything else.

Amusing mail at work.

The Oregon Department of Education apparently has some alternative spelling of "Emerson" they find preferable.  I see this spelling a lot and I don't understand where it comes from as there is no famous "Emmerson".  Just old Ralph Waldo.  One "m".

This just made me laugh. 

Casting call: We need a buttoned-up type to look like a very annoyed librarian.  No botox. The more disappointed, the better.

(Note that I know a lot of librarians and they don't look like this at all.)

Agreeing with the conservative columnist.

Hee!  I didn't realize the Governer's fiancee had so butchered the spelling of her name.

The rest of the column I didn't really go along with, but in the first sentence, Hovde and I are seeing eye-to-eye.

I can only imagine the story behind this.

I know why there are ketchup and mustard dispensers sitting in the kitchen at work.  They are being used by the children to make peace flags.*  By why this mustard dispenser has a label on it that says, "predators are too close"?  Who knows?

*It occurs to me that the above sentence will make no sense to anyone else but staff at school.  So here's what they did:  children color coffee filters with crayola-type markers, then the mustard/ketchup containers are filled with water and the water is sprayed over the coffee filter and that causes the colors to run on the coffee filter.  The filters are hung to dry et voila!  Peace Flags.

Yep. Breakfast.

Anyone who has taken a drive past breakfast places on the weekend knows how popular breakfast is in Portland.  I don't know about the rest of the state, though.  

Your. No really, your.

This is a very helpful sign, but I think the wrong-way driver might be too caught up in thinking that they really mean "You're" instead of "Your" and not receive the message.

Again!  Why do sign companies not employ English majors to proofread?

And if you are curious about the Tub & Tan rates, an hour of private room hot tubbing goes for $50.00.

Oh really?

We've gotten rid of that other style columnist out of Chicago, the one who thinks $20.00 is no big deal to spend.  We've continued on with the local style columnist, who I actually like.  But I wonder if male fall fashions are taking their cues from Northwest hipster trends, or maybe we just live IN the center of Northwest hipster trends.

Awesome email at work today.

Good day,

My name is Grant Law. I'm the developer of a fencing system which utilizes homemade foam weapons within a fantasy-styled framework. I am currently searching for schools in the Portland area that are interested in making our fencing program available to their students by hosting our program one day a week through the school year. I would like to talk with you or another representative about the possibility of holding classes at your school, and answer any questions you might have about our system.

The system is similar to what is commonly called boffer fighting, however my methods incorporate traditional western fencing techniques with an extensive rule set that greatly extends students' potential paths towards success. My program was created while teaching at Pacific Crest Community School over the 2013-2014 school year, and included approximately 1/3rd of the student population, in both club and physical education class settings. Many of the activities we engaged in are described at a website created for the Pacific Crest Garrison -- the name we ended up adopting for our site (http://grantlaw8.wix.com/pacificcrestgarrison).

Encouraged by the response of the Pacific Crest community, I'm attempting to expand the scope of our fencing program. I'm hoping to set up several after-school clubs in Portland, that would operate from 3:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m., one day a week. Classes will include an hour of instruction in basic fencing skills, including footwork, parries, and attacks, and an hour dedicated either to crafting weapons and armor, or tournament fencing. Students would directly pay for these classes, on either a monthly, quarterly. or semester rate, depending on the structure utilized by the school.

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

- Grant Law

My thought exactly.

"Good, no real food here anyway."

This is at Kaiser.  

I must confess, I've perused the options in this vending machine and rejected them, because it's all boring healthy food.  Who wants that from a vending machine?

Everyone can wear a maxi dress. No really!

Look!  We have photographic evidence.  Skinny tall women without boobs can wear it, and skinny tall people WITH boobs can wear the style.  That's everyone, right?

Kid signs.

One of the K/1 classes made informative signs which they helpfully hung around the school.

Say sorry when you bump someone because someone might be hurt.

People are talking while going past the office.

Stop.  Don't talk while Patricia is working. Shhhh.  Be quiet.

[the post-it note says]

Or else she will be distracted.

This is my favorite, both for the message and the illustration:

Do not sing "Let it Go" in the classroom or else people might get annoyed!

Just needed some frozen pizzas.

Two, to be exact.  

An entirely new Supreme Court

Once upon a time there was just the Supreme Court.  But thanks to the lack of a proper proofreader at the Oregonian, there is now an "e Supreme Court."  Perhaps they hear cases online?  Hand down decisions via email?  Who knows!

Trimet employs white-out to eliminate racist statement. Probably not ironically.

"No Blacks." Someone had graffitied, in answer to the statement, "What makes this place great."

Then the word "no" was covered in white-out.

I don't really know if it was a Trimet employee who used the whiteout, or a random passerby with whiteout in their backpack.  Either way, I snickered.